Men Aren't Monsters

Is this how we teach our girls to view men?

 In recent decades, there has been a push to empower women, to help them get out of abusive or dominating relationships, and to help them build confidence, self-reliance and independence. These are all incredibly important and necessary goals. However, I'm worried about an unintended consequence of this campaign for women: The subconscious belief that men are monsters.

As women have fought against a long history of sexual discrimination, sexual harassment, rape, domestic violence, and mental, emotional and physical abuse, they have, probably unintentionally, emphasized the weaknesses and sins of one gender. While these things needed to be brought to light to bring about true equality, the tendency was to beat the entirety of the male population over the head while never recognizing that men also have good tendencies and characteristics. With women emphasizing their own goodness and power and constantly undercutting the sacred nature of a man's role in the family, is it really any surprise that chivalry has almost disappeared and that so many children grow up fatherless?

An example: I believe most people would agree that the world is how you see it. Your life is about perception. As an example of the dangerous possibilities of this trend, let's take a hypothetical woman - Jenny. Jenny was raised to be suspicious towards men in dating relationships. She found a man whom she believed she could trust - while subconsciously believing that this was a rare occurrence and that most men are not trustworthy. Jenny is now in a good, stable marriage but is constantly barraged by media messages, friends, and organizations, that encourage women to be careful and not to be hesitant to leave an abusive relationship. If the idea is constantly in her subconscious that men are monsters, will Jenny begin to perceive her husband's mistakes as warning signs or even purposefully demeaning acts? If she is also under the impression that divorce is easily obtained - then what will hold her back? Do you see a problem here?

One other cause of the "men are monsters" phenomenon is the way modesty is taught to many LDS and Christian young women. Unfortunately, many parents and youth leaders teach that a girl should be modest because she could be a temptation to a young man. This teaches the young woman that men cannot control themselves or their thoughts, which is simply not true. It teaches her that men can't be trusted.

Women need to be empowered, confident, and independent; but so do men. We are all sons and daughters of God, born innocent and pure with potential for much good.  I have seen my husband, father, brother, brothers-in-law, and other men treat their wives with respect, love and affection.  Teaching women and girls to be suspicious of men can be harmful to personal and family relationships. We are all capable of sin and mistakes, but assuming that one gender is more likely than the other is not just dangerous, it's wrong.

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Additional resources:
-A viewpoint from an Apostle of the LDS Church:

Brethren, We Have Work to Do by Elder D. Todd Christofferson
 -The Beauty Redefined Blog: Modest is Hottest?