Several days ago I wrote this journal entry after coming home from a party. After pondering this, I thought I might share it to give an honest perspective on women and body image. If any of you have answers to my questions - feel free to share!
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Confession: I don’t want to lose weight. I’m happy with who I am. I think I’m beautiful and pretty and strong. I do want to keep getting healthier and stronger and leaner, but I consider myself a strong, healthy young woman. And I think I’m beautiful.
Seeing other young women who are thinner than me doesn’t necessarily make me want to be them - but it does make me feel guilty. Could they see my belly poke out a little bit under my shirt? Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that cookie. But I like cookies and I did a good, hard workout today. I wore a tight shirt thinking it looked nice but then I felt self-conscious. Maybe I should have curled my hair. But I was busy doing homework! Maybe I should have worn skinny jeans like the rest - but I don’t have any that fit right (they’re too big) and I wanted to wear my capris for the first time this spring. 
That guilt - why did I feel guilty when I left the house thinking I looked nice and feeling healthy and excited about my new hot pink tennis shoes? Why did I smile into the mirror at home and then feel so self-conscious at the party? Why do I feel guilty for not hitting a false ideal that isn’t me? That’s just it. It isn’t me. This is me. I like me. In fact, I like me a lot. I’m a little vain about liking me.
I’m a perfectly healthy weight and my mother-in-law keeps telling me I look rather thin. But I wasn’t as thin as some of the other girls - you know, those girls who aren’t me.
Why, for goodness’ sake, did I feel like that?
I think we often feel that way because when we're alone we're happy with ourselves but it's when we're with other people that we start comparing. If it's just us, who else is there to compare ourselves to?
ReplyDeleteBecause that's what every movie and book and t.v. show in the WORLD makes you think you SHOULD feel like. I'm glad you know better... just wish you could get rid of the little voice in your head, too. Love ya lots!
ReplyDeleteI already agreed completely with you before, :) but as really smart people have taught me, your body is your gift from God and He's made you beautiful. When we keep our bodies healthy we honor God but when we do it just to "fit in" we are honoring the world's ideals and so you just have to remember that your body is holy. My favorite quote EVER about this is, you can't hear the Spirit when you're worrying about what you look like.
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